Right after my husband left for work my 3 yr old decided it was a great idea to start throwing an epic tantrum. I mean EPIC. Nothing I did made this kid happy, and nothing I said would calm him down. Needless to say it ended up with me sending him to his room (after I yelled...*sigh*...) and leaving him in there until he calmed down. Thankfully, I was able to get breakfast made without drama, I called him out and explained to him why he was in trouble, he said sorry (on his own I didn't coerce him into it lol,) and we hugged. =] Good way to start breakfast!
After that, we went to the neighbor's house so all the boys could play. It was a little eventful because both he and the neighbor kid were CRANKY! But, finally things settled down, and everyone was able to have some fun =]
After that, I don't really recall too much stress with the kids. At least nothing that got beyond a 4. So, maybe I am getting better? That would be nice =D
I notice I keep talking about this scale, and I am not sure I even posted about it or linked it previously so here it is straight from the Orange Rhino Blog:
Thankfully, as I re-read this list, I notice that I have been mostly getting to 4-5. I know I have hit the 6-7 mark a couple times, but not as much as I thought I had. This is a good sign because it means I am improving! I used to always stick around 5-6, and would hit 7 more often than I cared to admit. Maybe with more practice I can get myself down to 3-4.The Orange Rhino’s YELLING METER0 – The everyday voice. The “life is good,” I just love being a mom and having these little conversations voice. Serenity and happiness ooze out with every word. Signs: you think to yourself, wow, this is a nice moment, I think I’ll cherish it and you’re filled with hope that the day is gonna be a good one.
1 – The whisper. The quiet, almost non-audible voice that our pre-school teacher uses that somehow gets attention, respect and follow through. Signs: you can barely hear it and it works like magic.
2 – The re-direct voice. It’s a clear, loving and patient voice that does not show irritation for the situation at hand but instead gently expresses that you don’t like a behavior, why, and offers a new activity. Sign: When you use it you pat yourself on the back for successfully following advice from a parenting magazine, for once.
3 – The firm voice (potentially raised). This is the I am starting-to-mean business voice accompanied with occasional raised eye brows and introduction of idle threats. Signs: you are still calm and there are no hurt feelings, but you’re wondering when (not if) you’re gonna snap and you are growing impatient, quickly.
4 – The “oopsie” snap. Stop! Alright! Ouch! This snap is starting to get nasty, but hasn’t gotten there yet. It isn’t a long tirade, it’s just a quick sharp voice where you stop yourself…it’s just enough to make the kids stop what they are doing for a second and think whether or not they will continue annoying behavior. Signs: blood pressure is picking up a little, but you are back to calm quickly and think “oh sh*t I really didn’t mean to do that.”
5 – The nasty snap. Darnit! Knock it off! Cut it out! This snap might be short, but it’s filled with venom. Signs: blood is starting to boil inside; vocal chords are warming up, preparing for a long tirade; you think to yourself “oh sh*t” was that a nasty snap? If you think it, it was.
6 – The yell. It’s loud. You know it’s loud. And it’s mean. You simply know you’ve crossed the line, there is no question. Signs: kids tears are a pretty good indicator, as are doors slamming, kids screaming back at you that you’re mean and they don’t love you any more.
7 – The raging scream. A notch up from “the yell.” It’s totally intentional and is filled with much more nastiness, hurtfulness and hysteria – on both sides. Signs: body shaking, often hard to stop doing it; results in feelings of massive guilt and shame in the screamer (at least for me) and definite feelings of shame, sadness, and fear in the kiddos; throat throbs afterwards.
I REALLY need to work on redirecting my anger, and finding ways to calm myself down. I kinda suck at that honestly, but constantly reminding myself that I need to do better has, in general, helped me to see (very) small results. Aside from reaching level 6 yesterday morning, I stuck to 4 most of the rest of the day. Today, I won't be home after 3 so I can only go by just this morning. So far, life is good! I haven't gotten past 3 which is awesome! I think it helped that the husband was home this morning, and he was here to keep an eye on the kids while I showered - before doing anything else this morning. I even put off diaper changes to shower first. I took care of my need first, and that felt good to be able to do that. I know it sounds selfish, but considering I hardly ever take any time to myself I figured the diapers and the rest of the morning routine (if you can really call it that lol) could wait an extra 15-20 minutes while I bathed =p
I got dressed while hubby made coffee AND got breakfast for all of us! That was just awesome, and really took a load off my shoulders this morning. Though, I DID get annoyed because my kiddo kept asking for bowls of cereal (he had THREE of them! Growth spurt much???) However, everyone is fed, bathed, changed, and chillin'. 3yr old is playing out in the backyard, 1 yr old is in the playroom...err...playing, and hubby and I are on our computers =p I wish ALL mornings could be like this! Right now, I am in "life-is-good" mode, and I am LOVING it! Hopefully tomorrow morning when I get home I can be on top of my game, and feel this awesome about the morning routine .
Well, this was long enough. I think I have recapped everything that is important =p Thanks for reading everyone, and I'll try and post more on Sunday.
Have a great, and yelling-free weekend everyone!
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