Oi...

Well, it's been a crazy weekend!  I have barely been home so my time with my kids has been brief.  Sadly, I haven't done so well today with the non-yelling, and redirecting my anger.  I think I have gotten to level 5 a few times just this morning >.<  I KNEW this challenge would be hard, but I didn't think I would face this much failure in such a short period of time.

This morning alone, my trigger was the fact that I JUST got home from being at Happy's (that's the woman I help out on the weekends,) and I needed coffee...badly! lol!  I didn't finish eating my breakfast before the kids started having a meltdown because I took a phone call, and couldn't keep them from trying to eat my food or yell into the phone while trying to have a conversation. I had to just lock myself in my room so I could at LEAST finish my phone call.  Then, my 3 yr old decided to nearly rip the door handle off so I had to let him in.  (so much for that phone call...).  It was a short call, but I needed to take it because it kinda determined the events of my day.  I just couldn't handle the stress of trying to sound like a functional human being and keep my kids happy for just 5-10 minutes.  so, I muted the phone...and I yelled.  I would say no more than a 5 because while it was loud no tears or anger came out of it (from the kids...) just pretty much ignoring me *sigh*

After it was all said and done, they both got in my bathroom and tried to play in the toilet (after my phone call,) so of course I was so beyond frustrated again that this time I yelled and kicked them out of my room so I could sit for 5 minutes to collect myself.  i think this time I got to level 6, but oddly enough me removing them from my room ticked them off way more than the yelling *shrug* idk...

I have come to the conclusion that I am just not good at this.  However, I must stay determined and not give up (even though I really feel like throwing in the towel after this weekend).

So, I guess this means that after 3 days of the challenge I am back to day zero...again.  Thankfully, the creator of this challenge said it took her several days to finally start getting it so maybe the same will go for me.  Just need to keep trying!  I can do this!  I think...

Anyway, I know I said I will be vlogging in addition to this blog, but I have had trouble with the program I usually use so I need to find another one as well as getting my files to convert and load correctly off my phone.  I tried to post a video the other day, but it was the wrong format so it didn't work.  Once I  can get it all sorted out I'll start doing the vlogs =]  until then, I hope you don't mind reading! hehe. =p

Have a great Monday everyone, and I will see you soon!

<3 Dawn